Posted by: Chris Hoskins | September 29, 2008

Lost?

It’s wierd the things that pop into your head, and when they decide to. For instance, my beautiful niece is in hospital and struggling, I came on to blog more about that, but I just can’t get the words out. It’s so awful(understatement!) whats happening with Iona, Jonnie and Susie. I just can’t see where God is in it all. At least not all the time; I can see him in Jonnie and Susie’s strength as a couple, in the love they have for each other and Iona.  I just don’t get why God won’t heal Iona, why all the pain and suffering?  My head tells me so many answers, but they just can’t satisfy my heart, I don’t know how or what to pray anymore, how to talk to God about all this. I’m done seeing my family hurt so much, I don’t know how much more I can take, it’s horrible.


Maybe I can get some of the words out……..


I say it’s wierd, because I expect things with Iona to dominate my thoughts, and most days they do. I was speaking to Linda the other day, and realised I haven’t told Iona that I love her, I’m just so desperate to see her again so I can tell her, I don’t know why I haven’t……


….But some days other stuff works its way into my thoughts. Thoughts about other aspects of God, sports, work, Linda, sports, Linda, family, Canada…….

…….I miss sports. I used to be really active, rugby, football, American Football. It was a huge part of my life,  a huge part that I miss and just can’t fit into my life anymore 😦 I miss the camaraderie, the buzz, the physicality of it all. Some days I feel quite lost in everything thats going on, I used to feel that way at High School a lot, sports always made sense of it. 11 (or 15) guys, all striving for the same goal, the same victory, the same purpose. It was awesome, it still is. It was all so much simpler, when you have the ball in your hands, you’re in control, you call the shots. Even when you didn’t have the ball you had a certain amount of control over the game. I miss that too.


I’m not really sure why i’m writing all this, I just had an urge to write something somewhere, this seemed the obvious place.


Cheers for reading,

peace out

Keep praying for Iona


Chris

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Responses

  1. Hi Chris
    Just remember that you have friends praying for you, your family and for Iona. We pray that God gives you revelation as to ‘the big picture’.
    When my wife was going through a tough time recently she was wondering where God was. She read the Bible and it said to ‘praise God in all things’, so she started to praise Him and although the problem didn’t go away she felt more at peace and stronger to support those around her.
    We don’t understand why things happen but I know that God is a loving God and he suffers with us.

  2. Amen to Denham’s last sentence! God is a loving God indeed, and is there in the centre of this terrible time. He is the strength that Iona, Susie, Johnnie are finding, he is the love of all who care for them, including you Chris.

    Re the sports – make time, set it as a development goal to get involved in regular sport. There will be 5 aside footie somewhere near you, or even something more exciting – try the RGU Sports centre, or even Goals just over the Bridge of Dee.

    Thinking of and praying for you all.

    Sxx


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